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Peanuts and Cheese: A Match Made in Saturn Valley - by RetroHippy

Peanuts and Cheese: A Match Made in Saturn Valley

Bananas are a very cheap way to refill Ness's HP in a jam. However, peanut cheese bars are simply the best way to go. What other food can heal you for that much HP for a mere $22? nothing! they are the most superb piece of food in the earthbound game. Not to mention that they go well with such condiments as: ketchup, sugar, and rhubarb (the hidden condiment!). A peanut cheese bar with rhubarb completely fills everyone's HP and PP! That's a deal! (ok, maybe not.....)

Anyway, peanut cheese bars would be the perfect piece of merchandising for the general public. Who could resist a bar of warm cheese with little peanuts swimming in it like plums in plum pudding?! Especially if there were a friendly picture of Mr. Saturn smiling up form the wrapper. (wait, does he have a mouth?) I feel that anyone who has any decency at all should write letters to Nintendo asking them to market such an obviously profitable taste sensation.

In conclusion, the scientific wonder known as Peanutus Cheesicus Barimus (Peanut Cheese Bar in layman's terms) should be praised as a hero, for saving Ness' life when his hit points were low, for tiding Mr. Saturn over between lunch and dinner, for being a reliable, tasty, and healthful snack that all may partake of. Long Live the Peanut Cheese Bar. Why did the Happy Happy Village worship blue? What's wrong with Peanut Cheese Bars? I believe that the designer messed up slightly here, not giving the Peanut Cheese Bars enough credit. I hope this is remedied in EarthBound 64, i want to see those cult members wearing Peanuts and Cheese!!!

-RetroHippy

Editor's Note: There is no rhubarb. The author has obviously overdosed on peanuts and cheese.


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